Jade~ hard , and its worse when those who dont understand that I'll never be fully recovered as I'll still have the thoughts and image problems I still deal with durning the struggle to keep eating and not .
cade~what is like to cut yourself...? I am only curious..
Jade~ to cut is like , well you know when a female and male is having sex and they get really worked up from the stimulation of it , its sorta like that except turned around as if i would be concidered a drug addict who would be shooting up there drug of choice , when I or others see the blood or feel our tool pierce out skin its like we are sinking in a pool of water falling endlessly into a bottomless pool , and the water pushs us down and we feel weightless and free for the time it does last .
Cade~ can you explain it more..? i am finding this interesting..
Jade~ see when someone drowns before the last moment they finally accept their death , but for a self harmer its different , we bleed out our inner turmoil , and seeing and knowing its coming out of us is pure pleasure , and total weightlness even though it doesnt solve the problem it eases it for some time.
Cade~ can you die from cutting yourself..?
Jade~ yes , if a cutter was to accidently cut a vein deep enough chances are we could die or damage a nerve badly..and sometimes when a self hamer is found dead with cut wounds ,its more likely to be thought of as suicide when sometimes its not the case, its just sometimes we accidently hit a vital vein which results in us dying.
Cade~ sounds sad..and horrible way to die..
Jade~it can be..knowing your arm is throbbing and you try to stop the bleeding and it doesnt stop and before you die , you just accept the fact you made a mistake and suffered the bad side of it.
Cade~ is it hard to stop cutting if you are addicted..?
Jade~ yes , even though some have manged years of not cutting , still get the urges or thoughts , but mange with coping skills..
Cade~ can you explain coping skills for me..?
Jade~ a coping skill is for those who find them helpful , even normal not so depressed people use them , for instant when someone is stressed who has no mental health issues use them , weither its writing , journaling , talking to a therapist , or listening to music or taking a nap or using a stress ball...its all coping skills...not many realize it ..but they do utilize them.
Cade~ do you hate the fact you got into self harm ..?
Jade ~ yes and no..
Cade~ Thank you for your time.
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Jim~ hi
Jade~ hi
Jim~ what is it like to starve yourself..or purge..?
Jade~ Like being high off a drug or alcohol...if you were to go to a crack house and watch the addicts get high and how they act , its similar to that..
Jim~ how so..?
Jade ~ well if you starve yourself long enough you know the affects of it , such as light headedness , fatigue ..burst of energy and crashing of energy, and the constant working out can make it worse.
Jim~ what is the worse you experinced..?
Jade~Ketosis
Jim~what is that..?
Jade~its where you body goes into shock from lack of food..and sugar .
Jim~ what is it like..?
Jade~ your blood pressure goes up and your body burns up slightly in temp, you get shaky and dizzy , from lack of food and sugar..
Jim~doesnt sound fun...
Jade~its not ..
Jim~have you ever purged..?
Jade~yes , it hurts and its dangerous..it can ruin your teeth and put lots of strain on your heart ..
Jim~why is it called Eating disorder..?
Jade~ cause the person restricts food sometimes seizing all food intake , and purging is to get rid of food from the body and we get a very different image in the mirror , you may see us as Sickly thin and we see ourselfs as huge blimps in the mirror..
Jim~ is it hard to struggle with it..?
Jade~ see , you are saying we are recovered , but someone who has an E.D and manges to eat still struggles with it everyday, we still have the thoughts and habits of a person with an E.D
Jim~ Oh, doesnt sound nice..
Jade~ never does when you speak to someone who's been through it .
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